My True Ministry Calling

Have you ever had a season in life you look back on and think "How did I do it?" Not long ago I was in a season of having my plate so full that my head was spinning so fast and I wasn't even aware it was spinning! 
Everyone around knew it... but me:)

It was a season full of good things, God things! Big and small things!  You see, I was very involved with serving in our church, and I loved it! Life was great and I felt fulfilled, challenged and motivated. I felt like I was pleasing to the Lord and to my leaders. There was absolutely a grace in this season.

Then I started to feel things slowly changing. I took on one role after another because "hey this was for the sake of the ministry, how could I not step up and do it?" "If I didn't do it who was going to?" I was needed and I was capable so why not? Well, ever heard that saying that just because it's a good idea doesn't mean it's a God idea? I mean He is the one who knows how much I could take on. At the time I truly thought it was what God was calling me to do, because how could serving the church, serving the ministry NOT be what He wanted? So, to say I took time to really pray and listen and be lead and guided by peace is not exactly accurate. I didn't give myself time to do or feel any of those things. Excitement got the best of me I guess.

You see God had already given me a full time ministry. I could even do it in the comfort of my own home! People were dependent on me to teach them how to love the Lord. How to make Him a priority in their life. How to follow, listen and be lead by Him and Him alone. This was the ideal ministry!  These people looked up to me and counted on me. Those people were my children.

In all my serving for the body of Christ I had started to let go of serving my family. My priorities has shifted and I didn't even realize it! When the kids behavior started changing that was a clue. When date nights started to be less and less, that was a clue. When I couldn't keep up on housework like I used to, that was a clue. When I couldn't even think unless it was about ministry, that was a clue. When I couldn't plan anything because my days were all busy for ministry purposes, that was a clue. When my mind couldn't function because I had been staring at the computer, reading or writing e-mail after e-mail, that was a clue. I was like a zombie but a happy one if there ever was such a thing:-) At least I told myself I was happy. 

But thanks be to God who is so loving that He ever so gently reminds us what to do. Sometimes He uses our friends, our spouse, our family or a complete stranger to get our attention, to shift our focus back on what's most important.
Now let me be loud and clear about something. Serving in church is NOT BAD!!!!! God calls many people to serve in many different capacities. It's when we let our priorities get mixed up and we aren't taking care of the most important thing He has given us! For me, that was my family.

You know through all of this I realized you don't have to be in the church building to serve the Lord! I knew this but I didn't really feel like I could. God has showed me I can touch many people including my family from right where I am. I am serving a purpose here at home! My kids are only little for so long. I don't want to miss out on anything! I treasure the time that I have with them because I know how fast they grow. Proverbs 26:2 tells us "train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he shall not depart from it. How could I do that if all my time, energy and focus were on everything else? You can't and I couldn't.

I wanted my children to know who is their source for everything, who they put their trust in, who they call upon when they need wisdom and understanding, who they turn to for everything! How would they know if I didn't have time to teach them? 

We as parents can't rely on the church or teachers, or grandparents or friends to teach and raise our children. Yes, they can be great sources of help but God gave us our children, not them. They are our responsibility and they are a gift. They are to be enjoyed, they are to be loved on, they are to be heard and acknowledged. They are to be treated special! Doesn't our heavenly Father do that for us? I want to see my children as Christ sees them, as a treasure. Again, our children are only little for so long and I don't want to miss out on the smallest of things. I don't want to have any regrets. Does that mean I am going to teach with perfection and never make a mistake? Of course not! But I will do my best and let God fill in the gaps, He's the best at that anyway isn't' He? :-) 

Now, seasons change and I know this, but for now I will cherish every moment in my ministry. I will not rush it and I will not just "get through it." I am focused, I am intentional, and best of all I am FULFILLED in my calling as a mother.